A friend of mine has never understood why I 'bother' taking a day or two off work to get caught up at home, or why I choose to spend my regular days off at home doing something rather than going anywhere else. I'm a homebody and I like it. I always have. Probably always will. She couldn't see the point in that.
We chat almost every day, and I'm always talking about something I need to get done at home like it's really important to me that I do it (and it is!) and she always had the opinion that I was just wasting my time, and what I planned to do was just 'frivolous'. Like, why bother?
Until the other evening....
She came over to visit so she could check out my gardens and see for herself what I've been up to at home. We enjoyed a cup of coffee together while we leisurely strolled all around the yard and through my different gardens, looking at the seating areas I have set up in different spots, the pond and its plants, floating ducks, a goose and other critters around it, the waterfall and fountain (that makes a sound you can't help but relax around!), the plants and the different 'cutesies' I have displayed here and there for decoration. As she looked around with eyes wide-open, she was amazed. While we kept walking and looking, she just kept screaming in excitement, "It's beatiful! It's beautiful!" "I had no idea this would be so nice!" Then she said "No wonder you'd rather stay home than go somewhere else! I would too if I had THIS to come home to!" I smiled while a feeling of relief came over me. My best friend finally understood. I felt vindicated.
You don't have to leave home to enjoy yourself or have a good time. Just surround yourself with the things you love! That's what I do! It can be something really simple, or something really big. Whatever it is you love. Ü Sometimes 'life' can get us down, wear us out, and make us feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. We deal with negative things, sometimes negative people, and lots of other stresses in our day-to-day lives and it's easy to feel depressed or wonder just what the point is. We need a retreat. A place where we can re-focus on the things that are important to us, a place we can replenish our spirits and either find or create that light ourselves. My retreat is my home. My yard. My jeep. And sometimes even my job. Ü
Happiness doesn't always just come to us. Sometimes we have to create it ourselves. No matter where I am, I try to surround myself with the things that bring some form of happiness to me. I avoid negative people. I just won't deal with them. Don't have the time or energy to waste on them. Some people seem to 'enjoy' being negative about things. Those people have a very tiny space in my life, if at all. I walk away from as much negativity as I can. IF I can. I still have different stresses in my life, and life isn't all peaches and cream for me, either. Through the years I've had a million reasons to get depressed. And sometimes I do get depressed, but it doesn't last long. I won't let it. I know I can retreat to my happy place. I just choose not to let those negative things in life control me or get me down....for long. Ü So I create my own happiness.
I really love chickens, so in my jeep I have a ceramic bobble-head chicken that sits on top of the backseat. I found her at a garage sale somewhere. I can see her in my rear-view mirror. She brings me happy thoughts. I don't know why. It's probably crazy, but that's okay. If it's crazy it's a happy crazy! Ü Everyone I know just shakes their head and says that chicken is the dumbest thing they ever saw...but I happen to enjoy having her 'ride' along with me, so there she sits. Velcroed to my back seat justa bob-bob-bobbin' along. *lol* I keep CD's of my favorite music to listen to in my jeep. When I go somewhere I listen to whatever I'm in the mood for at the time. Usually something soothing and relaxing, or at least easy-listening. My favorite scent is French Vanilla AND it relaxes me....so of course my jeep is scented with it! I try to keep my jeep clean (as much as possible!) on the inside and out, since that also gives me a good feeling. When I let my back-seats get filled with 'stuff' (usually stuff from garage sales or stuff I'm taking to donate or recycle), it bogs me down. So I clean it out.
It took me a few years to finally rid myself of the clutter I had built up in the house. I hated to get rid of anything. Once I started decluttering tho, I was addicted! You wouldn't believe how much clutter around the house can pull you down. Same with a messy house. It's easy to get depressed if things aren't where they should be, or if you have too much 'stuff' sitting around collecting dust, or if you have to step over something to avoid tripping on it. It's hard to sit and relax in a room you look around in and can't help but feel like you should be up and cleaning it or doing something to it. It's frustrating!! Once I finished getting rid of the things that weren't really that important to me, I only kept (and added a few!) things I enjoy. Things that give me a happy or content feeling. If I don't enjoy it or it doesn't bring me some form of happiness by looking at it or using it, it's GONE! And the more open your space is, the more content you'll be with it. And the more you de-clutter, the better you'll feel and the more you'll want to declutter again!
I started out one room at a time, taking absolutely everything out of that room, including what was on the walls. Then I started putting things back in the room, beginning with the things that HAD to be in there. After that, I started adding things back in one at a time, and after adding each item I stepped back and took a good look in the room to see if it 'felt' right. If it didn't give me a good feeling, I took it back out and went to the next item and did it all over again. Each time I decided something wasn't going to go back into the room, I put it in a bag to donate somewhere and never looked in the bag again. I didn't bother with a garage sale because I didn't want to be tempted to keep anything. Trust me, it works! Ü And to this day, I haven't missed any of it! If you can look into the room with the feeling you'd like to stay in it for awhile to enjoy it, that's when you'll know you did it right. Quit there. Ü I donated (and continue to donate) a lot of stuff to the local second-hand shops or freecycle or family and friends just to rid myself of the things I don't enjoy anymore, or things I haven't used in over a year. It's also a great feeling to give something to someone you know is going to enjoy it! Some things I'll store in the basement, but if I haven't dug it out to use it in a year, I get rid of it when I clean the basement the next year. (unless it's those holiday things that you only use once a year).
Since the smell of french vanilla relaxes me, I have several candles and oils of the same scent in each room of the house. When you walk in my front door, you can't help but smell french vanilla. I don't care if you enjoy that scent. I do. And it's MY retreat, remember? *lol* With the house (mostly) in order and things where you want them, it's easier to feel like 'up-grading' the room every once in awhile. Especially in the wintertime when I can't get out in the gardens, I find myself asking 'what can I do to improve this room?' Or, 'Is there anything in this room that doesn't make me happy anymore?' Just little touches here and there. Anything to make the room more inviting and relaxing. Maybe a different color on the walls. Maybe a picture. Maybe take something out of the room and replace it with something different. Or don't replace it at all! Maybe just move the furniture. And you don't have to buy new things. I like to visit the second-hand stores and garage sales. The really cheap stores! Ü (Not those antique places that charge a fortune!) Or buy something when it's on sale real cheap. If it's something I really really love and feel like I can't live without, I'll pay more for it. Sometimes too much! Ü I can't claim to always be frugal, altho I do try and I AM getting better at it! Ü
My love for chickens shows in my kitchen. I have chickens and chicken related things above my cupboards and here and there in the kitchen. I also love wild birds, birdhouses, and nature-related things, so my living room is decorated with those. The bathroom is decorated garden-style, where I hand-painted murals of birdhouses, picket fences, a tree, birds, butterflies, dragonflies, etc on the walls. It's light sagey-green, which is a relaxing color for me. I like to create my own special home spa by lighting my candles, putting in a relaxing CD, shutting off the lights, and soaking in a hot bath to relax. Then I sit around the house in my jammies, whether it's daytime or night. Ahhhhh.....
My bedroom is a place to totally relax. I have an old watering can and an old ceramic vase full of lavender on each side of the bed, french vanilla candles, lacey curtains, a patch-work quilt with different light colors of whites, blues, purples, tiny flowers, etc, and the walls are sky-blue. The only things in the bedroom are our bed, dresser, and our two night-stands. No t.v. in there. Just peace and quiet. I don't even bring a book in there. I don't want to 'think' in there. I want to relax. I love taking naps. It's another way I 'get away'.
I also enjoy feeding the birds, so I have bird-feeders right outside some of my windows to get a close-up view. Last nite I was actually feeding a few coon in one of them, too! *lol* I love the sound of water from my aquarium and watching the fish swimming around is relaxing! The aquarium sits in my kitchen, where I spend a lot of my time. I also feed the deer outside my office window. About a week ago a bear invited himself there, too.
In the wintertime when I don't want to be outside as much (I prefer hybernating to going out in the snow and cold), I mostly enjoy baking, cooking, re-organizing my pantry, misc. cleaning projects, and doing little crafty projects at home. Something to decorate the house or garden or improve it in some way. Those are the things I enjoy doing. (If you'd be happier outside sledding down your hill, then that's what you should do when you can). Ü
In the evenings (when I can!) I like to be snuggled up in a throw my daughter made for me in the recliner or on the couch while catching up on reading my magazines or books, or watching something good on t.v. while eating a bowl of popcorn or ice cream. YUM.
I know there are some people who'd rather spend their time out and about. I'm just giving you some ideas to make it more appealing to be at home, if that's what you'd like to try. You never know...You just might like it, too!
Until next time!
AuntyB
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